Helmut Brunjes, butler at the Castle Dracula in the mid-to-late 1980s, was one of the most truly demented and perverted people to ever inhabit the earth. Not because he was Gay-but because Helmut was one of the most truly depraved masochists that I ever met. The son of a Polish Jew and a German woman who was hiding his father during World War II, Helmut was first seduced, consensually, by an American soldier on occupation duty, when he was 11 years old. He attended the Intercontinental Hotel School in Europe, before doing a stint in the merchant marine during which, as he put it, he “buggered his way around the world.” Commenting upon his experiences in the merchant marine, Helmut once expressed relief (after receiving negative results on an AIDS test) that he was not personally the entire cause of AIDS in the world, explaining that at the time when Gays and Haitians were the two highest at risk groups for the disease, that he’d “buggered so many Haitians” that he was sure that he must have personally spread “the entire plague upon the world.”
Australia will never be the same without Helmut-
Helmut eventually wound up in Australia, where he fell in love with a Czechoslovakian émigré who had a knack for just the right kind of abuse. Once, coming to work with his eyes blackened, his nose broken, and his lip split and bleeding, black and blue all over, his boss, immediately told him “Helmut, you can’t come to work like this. Go home!” Helmut proceeded to explain what happened: “Oh George. It was my boyfriend. He strangled me with an electrical cord. He dragged me around the house by my hair. He whipped me. He tortured me with a pair of pliers. He pummeled my face for nearly an hour….” “Go home Helmut!” George insisted. “Oh George,” continued Helmut, “it was beautiful.”
Helmut’s night out-
Coming to America with his boss, as associate of Dracula (Gyula Tamas Zubovicz) Helmut was traded to Dracula as interest on a debt. Moving into the Castle Dracula as butler, chef, and laundress, Helmut immediately warmed up to his role as a virtual slave. His great ambition in life had always been to be kept in bondage in a dungeon, so slavery to a group of Transylvanian vampires and werewolves was getting closer to his personal life goal. There were all sorts of interesting people for Helmut to meet at the Castle. Frequent visitors there were Irv Rubin, nitwit leader of the Jewish Defense League and various members of his entourage. Although the JDL ostensibly did not admit Gays to membership, it was riddled with latent homosexuals, one of whom made a date with Helmut. When Earl Krugel, Rubin’s notoriously misogynist underling found out, he threatened to expel the member from the JDL in such a fit of rage that everybody except Rubin (a village idiot if there ever was one) likened to a jealous boyfriend throwing a fit at his lover’s infidelity (everybody but Rubin always assumed that Earl Krugel was a closet case). Despondent over the breaking off of his date, Helmut decided he needed a night out. Returning a couple of days later, Helmut related his adventure to me, explaining first of all that he’d been picked up at a Gay bar by a wealthy Peruvian. Returning with him to his home in the Hollywood Hills, they first had a wild Jacuzzi party with three of his other friends, and then retired to his bedroom. “When I first entered the bedroom said Helmut, I saw hooks on the ceiling, and silly me, I thought they were for planters.” In fact, the hooks were mounted on pulleys and had shackles on the ends of their chains. The Peruvian proceeded to shackle Helmut’s hands, strip him naked, and proceed to haul Helmut up and down over himself on the bed, after which he left Helmut hanging from the ceiling. Helmut loved every minute of it. “Unfortunately,” Helmut later complained, “He had to go to work on Monday so he unshackled me on Sunday evening and let me go!”
Left holding the bag-
A couple of Hungarian women stole Helmut from Dracula and used him as the proverbial “patsy” in a mail fraud scheme. They set up a corporation called Gold Card Services and had Helmut as the sole officer and signer on all the bank accounts.
They took out ads in Spanish language newspapers everywhere, telling potential customers, ‘send us $65, we’ll send you a credit card.’ The whole thing was a fraud. When somebody would call or write and ask why they hadn’t received their card, they would get a “lulling letter” telling them they’d been assigned a “case number” and that their inquiry would be investigated. Each time they’d contact the company, they’d get another computer generated “lulling letter.” Nobody actually ever got credit cards. The women took off with the money and left Helmut holding the bag.
When Helmut got busted and pleaded guilty to 13 counts of mail fraud, one of the women paid him off to flee the country. Nobody could figure out why, because he only had to do another six months in federal lockup and his longtime fantasy was to be kept in a dungeon where he could be assaulted and tortured. Prison comes pretty close to his life-long fantasy.
Helmut Surfaces-
Fast forward to the 21st century. I’m discussing an IPO (Initial Public Offering) of stock in connection with my defense of a Tony Pellicano co-defendant. The IPO was done in Frankfurt, Germany, by VMR (Value Management Resources). My client tells me that a German named Oberman had come over to Los Angeles to negotiate the deal with Amiram Shafrir, my client’s nemesis. As soon as he mentioned “Oberman,” my ears caught on fire.
“Charles Oberman?” I inquired? My client didn’t remember his first name.
“Was he 5’8,” curly hair, and Gay as a three-dollar bill?” I asked.
“Yeah. How did you know?” my client queried.
“Because he was the butler when I lived at the Castle Dracula,” I explained.
My client didn’t believe it, until two weeks later I walked into lock-up at the Los Angeles Metropolitan Detention Center and showed him Helmut’s German Passport, Swedish and German union cards, and his Dutch, German, and Swedish seaman’s papers going back to 1958.
Don’t ask how I got them, but I have been a private investigator for over 30 years!
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